To tell the truth challenging children and those who are not challenging are not that different. Both these groups need the same necessities and some may need a greater extent. However, here are 5 tips that I have discovered work time and time again.

Genuine care: young people don’t do political correctness or fakeness well. And professionals who are well meaning but don’t exhibit authentic care get sniffed out and not allowed to pass go.

“I don’t care how much you know, until I know how much you care” is a saying I cam across and is very accurate when it comes to getting into the head of challenging students.

Care does not mean being soft or being a walk over as many times care is tough and unreasonable when needed. They just need to know your there for the long haul.

Relationship: In mentoring, relationship is the name of the game. If you are going to get a mentee to do what they “don’t” want to do, to get what they “do” want to get, you must have a pretty good relationship to leverage with.

This is where youth engagement mentoring is different from say career or sports mentoring because the subject is external (i.e. a career or sport) when mentoring challenging young people the person would most definitely be the subject or at least they will be overly sensitive to the possibility that they are!

So building a solid, professional but interpersonal relationship is invaluable to both of your progress if you are to achieve success.

Confrontation: However rock solid the mentee may seem to be, they do have a heart, it is just about finding it. Behind all that pain, hurt, disappointment and feeling of lowness etc. sometimes hide what is real going on. It is a lot to get through but are you ready to journey with them?

Confrontation is a skill in of itself! Because if you are too assertive and the student is not ready, they will shut the door in your face! And if you are not assertive enough you may get past their hard exterior (the mask). But if you confront the mentee with the right tone, force, tact and consideration you may just get in and be given permission to challenge their attitudes and inconsistencies. So getting this one right is vital and the key to building deeper foundations.